To: zhu zaii *you c aft 27th sept xD

Zhu zaii, mayb next week or next next week or next next week i not free to on9 or chat wif you much so in here i want to tell you tat. If i got free time i will on9 wif my phone to c yr blog b4 i slp o.

~Tell you or wish you early 1st~
28th Sept- Nites, sweet dreams, don go late only slp.
29th Sept- wat time ardy? 2morrow no class ar? Go slp, Nites,sweet dreams.
30th Sept- on9 cukup ardy? okeys go slp now. Nite, Sweet dreams.
1st Oct- Did you look at the moon? isit bright? Okeys, nite, sweet dreams.
2nd Oct- *ring..* time to slp, go slp la. Nite, sweet dreams.
3rd Oct- Don so late only slp la, now 55 go slp. Nite, sweet dreams.
4th Oct- 2morrow is my 1st day bigg exam, wish me luck. Nite, sweet dreams.
5th Oct- 2morrow having eng n geo, wish me good luck. Nite sweet dreams.
6th Oct- 2morrow got sci paper n sej nia, scare. Slp early, nites, sweet dreams.
7th Oct-Miss me? xD don think ardy la, go slp la. Nite, sweet dreams.
8th Oct-wei, now go slp,nite, meet you in dreams(:
9th Oct- c finsh my blog? okeys, time go slp. Nite, sweet dreams.
10th Oct-2morrow having exam again. so Nites, sweet dreams.
11th Oct- 2morrow having math n kh. Wish my luck, nite, sweet dreams.
12th Oct- no ned c my blog ardy la. i will b smsing you ardy xD

^ is for if i scare i nvr tell you, so i tell you here early 1st o. i will b vry free aft 12th Oct, but yr exam is cuming so no matter i nvr sms you or find you i also will b supporting you, don b lazy to study ar, don kap luii ar, if not you sure kena coz you waste yr time kap-ing luii so study o, okeys? If i can i will try to wish you 'nite' everyday (: i will b ok, don worry, i won lose to my 'pressure' xD n rmb 'i'm ying qiu leh' so? no worries :] Got anything sms me la(:

Monday.

2day woke up at 7am don feel like going to school, coz i'm really vry tired, but i juz tahan it n go to school. Reach school tat time was quite late start perhimpuan ardy but i juz walk into my line n juz sit down lo. After perhimpuan, juz as usual bak to class. Back to class den study by myself coz teacher nvr come, after the 2nd period-Geo only got teacher comes in to teach. Whole day concentrating on my studies, but feel vry tired, i juz kept telling myself 'don slp, focus' like tis until after school lo. Usually after school is my fren-siuen's mum or dad fetch me bak de, n i wan go striaght go bak bath den slp ardy, but siuen suddenly tell me she wan attend the Geo class tambahan, so i juz continuing telling myself 'got ppl teach den go learn, n b focus' In the Geo Class tambahan i was really vry tired wanted to slp, but i noe tat if i slp i sure miss 1 part de, so i juz force myself not to slp n b more concentrate. 2:15pm finshed the class den siuen tells me tat ned wait for her biao ge to fetch coz her parents go n c doctor. Then siuen tell me tat ned to wait for her biao mei to finsh school 1st den her biao ge all fetch together. Tat time we havnot eat lunch so we go matahari eat together wif dai lou n ah bhan lo. But bcoz at home my mum cook for me ardy, so i juz watch them eat n juz eat 1 bread tats all. Almost 3pm my fren suddenly tell me tat kit yew tat gang cum ardy, so i juz look 1 eye n juz act dono. 3:30pm den only her biao ge can fetch us home, den b4 i go back i juz passby kit yew n juz like normal fren saying 'bye bye', when i walk there he was vry paiseh n look down until i walk in front of him den only he looks up den i juz say 'bye' den i go le lo. When i reach home almost 4pm ardy i wanted to check my eye today, so i quickly eat n ask my mum to fetch me to c my eye. After testing my eye the optic said tat my eye side drop ardy, i was like stun ardy, coz actually every year i should go to check de n bcoz i scare i increase den it will affect my PMR , but tis time i go after 3 years, it should increase but it DROP ardy. Lol.
After going bak home i juz feel like going to slp until 2morrow morning, but i'm still now here typing my blog xD
[2day havnot reload yet, so zhu zaii sms me i cant reply, kit yew missed call me more than 4 times ardy xD]

Feel like going to slp, tired. But mayb not, i mayb study until nite only slp bah. i dono i can tahan mou from morning until nite nia @.@

2 in 1 xD

~25th Sept

2day in school felt bored bcuz all those school teachers was not teaching. =.='
sien nia, juz go to school study sci lur, whole day juz 2 teacher teach nia.
Today 8am in school i feel like studying wif zhu zaii after school so i sms him c whether he woke up ardy anot lur. After 5 min he replyed me, den i juz ask him lur. tat time bcuz i'm not so sure so i juz ask him c he is free anot in tat time lur. After school my mum fetch me bak home tat time was almost 2 ardy bcuz i hav lunch wif her, so i quickly call zhu zaii to confirm abt tat 'date' xD but he didn't replyed me, so i tot he was busy so i juz lie down at my bed n wait for him to reply, den i suddenly feel like i vry kacau, so i sms him again n said tat cancel ardy lur. Den he suddenly ask me to call him den i juz follow wat he say n juz call him lur, he said he can go, he cancel his 'game'. den tat time i was kinda tired so i tell him i'm vry tired wanna take a nap. den he sounds like vry disappointed, so i juz like tam him abit in phone lo. After he phone den i go straight to slp, n i tell him tat if i wake up ardy only sms him. i wake up at almost 4:30pm den i sms him c whether he wants to come out mou lo, but he nvr answer my call, so i juz act tat i 4get abt wat i ask him lo. Den he replyed me almost 2 hours later nia, tat time i was doing my math. He ask me to call him again. so i juz do wat he say n juz call him lur. He said tat he is doing acupuncture,so i juz 4get abt at lur. but he sounds like quite disappointed again, den i juz like tam him awhile lur. aft tat we juz chat at skype til almost 2:30am, in tat chat we laugh n we cry. Bcuz of kar hoe 1 word makes me feel vry luan, he said tat he was not a gud guy, tat means zhu zaii de not those person were that can trust, den i juz suddenly cry coz i feel like i kena ppl ply. Den from the skype phone he heard ardy n he try his best to make me trust him back n he also cried too. End up, we two also cry n we stop crying together too. We juz like chat til 2:30am, tat time i noe i should slp early bcuz i hav seminar at 7:30am to attend n i ned to b vry focus on wat they tell us, but i dono y i juz don feel like stop chatting wif him, juz feel like listening his sound til i slp, n also bcuz i wanna dream abt him.

~26th Sept
After we finsh i juz back to slp until morning i woke up late n i almost miss the bus n kena teacher scold bcuz i was vry vry late. n i went in the bus kena scolded my fren, siuen, coz yesterday she ask me to fetch her to school, but bcuz i'm late ardy, the bus go at 7:30am we should b there at 7:20am to wait for the bus, but i 7:30am only reach, so my fren find her own transport n scold me again lo. But slowly 4got ardy, in bus feel sleepy + the bus goes vry bummy, so makes me feel not really well. We reach ther almost 8am, when we reach there we ardy saw alot buses n alot for student. Then we juz follow all those student there they go n we still to walk up the small hill only reach the place. When they reach, there was full of ppl, n got leng zaii tim xD [but i juz c 1 eye only, cuz i promiss zhu zaii don kap zaii ardy]. We line up to pay the ticket[RM68] in n they giv 1 book. After that we went in to find place to sit but tat time we go in is ardy almost full, so we juz try to find a place tat my frens n i can sit together de, lucky we find dou la. While waiting for them to start, alot of diffren school also came to tis seminal n they also kept find place to sit. They start at almost 10:30pm, 1st subject is BM den Geo follow by Sci den we hav a break[lunch] den continue Math,English last is Sejarah , every subject i juz kept focusing on wat they giv n wat they teach. But then they giv resting time my mind was like totally tired man..
It was finsh at 6pm but bcuz we go back by bus so we ned time find our bus to go bak n it takes sometime tim. After we found ardy den we juz go bak lo. We reach bsd almost at 6:35pm, my mum was waiting for me at school, on the way bak home my mum ask 'how was it?' den i juz answer 'i'm now totally exhausted.' When i go bak home i juz on9 c zhu zaii got on9 anot lo, at 1st i tell my mum i don wan go out eat ask her help me da bao, den she tam me tam until i go out eat dinner lo, so we hav dinner at club. After the dinner when we reach home Then my mum ask me to massage for her so i juz do wat she say. Finsh ardy den bak to pc to post tis blog lur. (:
Whole day nvr sms zhu zaii, coz phone expired ardy. Haiz..

-END OF 25TH N 26TH-

24 sept..

2day is 24th Sept, dono y feel like somethings havnot done, isit asking him 'do you rmb tis day?' But, mayb i really ned to forget abt it, in juz walk in font, don look back.

2day in school were quite fun, but normal, n kit yew come n find me wif his frens, dono y. Juz chat abt like 'y you don go back yet?' 'wat time you go back?' 'wan exam ardy, got study mou?' I really tot he juz wanna ask abt all tis, but when i go back, he say he wanted to ask his main point but i don feel like talking to him wo. Sot sot de la xD

2day zhu zaii come to my hse to eat lunch wif me(: we cooked noodle n eat wif fishball n egg xD He fried those fishballs n egg but fried until i wan laugh ardy, bec he fried until out of shape ardy xD
End up, but we still eat n the noodle i made was kinda salty, n we still eat xD After eating we juz chat around my room. Chatting abt funny things n sad things n 'chi cu' things [for him la] n serious things ...many many more(:
When he talk wif his real heart he don dare to look at me nia xD say ps wo, hahax! but he said those words i don belive n he almost cry T.T so i giv a kiss on his cheek to cheer him up(:

but end up, he giv me back a kiss on my cheek. [i 4got wat happen ardy] he suddenly close to me n our nose touch each other, makes me feel like kissing him, but so too, FAIL ardy xD
After tat he knows ardy n tell me 'hahax! i noe ardy, i noe ardy' i was juz look outside n say you feel wrong jor la xD den [i 4got again] tis time he kiss me on my lips, n i was like stun ardy. totally in blur ardy. after the kiss i juz act dono n kinda ps xD
4pm...he needs to go back bec my ah ma will be bak on anytime, so i ask him 'you wan go ardy anot? 4pm ardy lo' den he like vry angry n say 'ok lo, you wan me go i ma go lo' den we juz go down n i open the gates n door for him. Tat time outside was raining, so i shelter him to his car n he still looks disappointed. So i take a deep breath n kiss him on his cheek again (: , den he was like still angry n ask 'only like tis o?' den i answer him 'wat do you still wan?' den he 'zhu dong' kiss on my lips the 2nd time..den i close his car door n say 'bye, drive safely' den i slowly walk back to my hse n close all those gates n door lo.

' Do i likes you? ' tis question is juz kept repeating in my mind. ' Should i like you? ' ' Accept or reject? ' all these question is my blockage toward him..lol, now i juz kept tao bi-ing.

Feel like posting again den only post la(:
-END-

2nd post on the same day xD

lol, suddenly feel like posting sumthings. today n yesterday i was late to school, yesterday the perhimpuan also end ardy den i only reach to schoool, today is kinda late abit but still ok la xD
At school nth really happen, juz like normal... only on class bm-pn. azlina kept saying abt Jing Hui's bad word. Say that he likes to meronda wif his gf-wen yun. tat time he damn bek chek lo xD
in school juz like in a pressure cooking. teacher kept on giving paper to do, n we juz kept doing non stop. walau, totally tired man.. after PMR i'm not gonna touch all those books ardy, they will be totally out from my mind, and i will just play n play n play for the whole day nia xD

yesterday nite in phone wif zhu zaii, saying abt my 'saved msg' n he past were i saw in his blog. N talking abt our 1st kiss nia xD n we were talking abt 'is zhu zaii a play boy?' i feel really sorry, bcoz i tell him i don trusted him, n kept thinking tat he's a play boy. N he was damn hurt n almost T.T, i dono how to change my mind set to act him is juz a guy tat will love you deep inside his heart, i'm now trying ardy, hope you r not really a play boy. we talk from almost 12 til 2:30am nia, my ear gonna deaf ardy, i kept delay the time tat he limited dono y xD
Mayb i 'mm seh dak' gua, i'm not sure xD *tao bi-ing*

Today saw zhu zaii's blog again, he kept saying he miss me, but i kept laughing, coz he is like nvr c me 1 min ardy vry miss,hahax! i kept laughing nia, we juz meet 2 days ago, cant imagine how he miss til so deeply xD
Now in my conversation wif others don hav ham de things ardy, zhu zaii is the 1 slowly take over. Sumtimes talking wif my mum, den i say abt him, sumtimes talking wif my fren talking abt him, dono y again xD
Dono i really fall in love wif him jor isit, i juz don dare to face it. He tried to makes me face it, but i juz kept 'tao bi'. Dono y AGAIN..@.@

My hmwk is really damn lot nia, lucky sumtimes zhu zaii can help me in tat xD if not i will b like a dead person ardy. 2day kit yew sms me again, n he kept calling kay sieng to ask my personal things, but i try to tell kay sieng not to tell him abt zhu zaii, coz i don wan him to b vry disappointed, n coz he likes me for almost 1year++ ardy. Yes i noe him longer den zhu zaii, but feel all tis is juz like test you how you can really catch a gul heart anot de ma, mayb he ben dan catch mm dou my heart gua xD but tat zhu zaii also not really touch dou deep inside la, now is touch dou but is juz 3 layer in,hahax!

END:]

dono wat i wan>

yesterday i 2:30am only slp,aw..kinda tired-.-! coz talk in phone wif zhu zaii xD

2day jia wen ask me ' qiu, you ask zhi hao 22th n 23th oct wan go genting mou, coz i wan c him ' den i was like stun awhile den say 'okok, i ask him ardy den i tell you ^^' den when i go off suddenly feel like tat i'm like 'kacau' 1s. vry luan nia, i dono wat time wan, i juz always noe how to tao bi. haiz.....don feel like think abt tat, makes me feel vry luan nia. don feel like post anything, ltr got somethings else only i post again la(:

ON BAK! XD

1,2,3,4,5,6,7..tis is time 7th time i cum out wif zhu zaii. having date?? *vomiting* we havnot couple yet la=.=' i kept reminding myself, i'm still not his gf, don b too over do..reminding..reminding..reminding..kept reminding myself.

7th time-tis time i asked him out, bcoz the day b4 he saw in a bad mood, but tat time i cant cum out so i ask him for tomorrow. tis time we hav our dinner together by eat steamboat at 'our old place'. i ask him to fetch me at 5:30pm but he was LATE! i wanted to angry him,but when i get into the car seems tat the 1 in bad mood was him n is not me. so i juz act nth n ask him y...? den he answer me in a lie n end up he tell me he was joking nia, n i was like, omg, i should angry you 1st nia.
on the way we were in a jam so we reached there abt 6pm. we walk around the garden n the 'bigg' supermarket too=.= while walking we were juz chatting n laughing. n i rmb 1 is tat when i tell him tat guy ply bball was vry lc den zhu zaii shout at him n say 'OI!' omg, i look at tat guy i quickly act dono nia xD we walk almost the whole park, walau, it was really damn BIGG, until is like walk n walk also don hav end like tis de?? =.= but b4 walk finsh, i ask him to giv me his phone,n i start to record my sound 'wei! answer my phone leh, i'm ying qiu leh. ANSWER MY PHONE!! if you don answer i don call you ardy n you no ned to call me ardy'. i did tis bcoz got 1 time i called him but he nvr answer my phone den i was vry 'gek' so i wanted him to answer my phone when i call him. wkaka xD to tell him tat if you don answer my phone you will die,wkaka xD
i think tat time is 7:15 pm like tis, we hav dinner lur. we were chatting chatting chatting..n eating eating eating..tat time i'm a rush to tuition at in BSD so i ask him to eat it fast xD tat dinner cost abt rm40+ =.=' walau, i think he bo money liao lo, every time also eat like tis sure bankrupt de lo. aft eating he fetch me tuition straight away.
when we reach to my tuition centre, i wanted to cum down from the car suddenly he pull me bak n said 'i wan bao bao' in a acting cute face xD den i was 'aw.....ok la' den we hug quite a long time coz i don wanna let go,dono y xD n when i let go he kissed me at my cheek n said 'me leh??' den i think for awhile den i only giv him a kiss at his cheek too. den juz bak to normal, i juz cum down from the car n tell him 'bye bye'. when i'm in class tat i noe i was late 10minutes ardy, n in class tat 1st 10 minutes i kept stun n unfocus coz kept thinking abt tat zhu zaii. but slowly bak to my mood n try to tell myself to b more concentrate(:
*i mayb he c him again aft 3 weeks, n in tat 3 week is can safe bak his money la, but i think aft tat 3 weeks if cum out again sure use finish also de xD

In school, wanted to on9 coz i bring phone but my school's wi-fi lau beh de la=.= n today tat sieng angry again, aiyo, must b tat jing hui n rick bully her again lo, but everytime she been bully sure call me help her geh xD but i always only say 'Jing Hui/Rick ar, don bully her la, sit bak to yr place la' xD n today rick wanted me to help him to ask liyan to go to his bday party at 1st of dec wo, he ply my fren-liyan b4 still wan me to help him ar? choi nei dou soh ar, ply my fren la, 1 leg step 2 boat la, dai sei, you wan ask her go ask yrself, don kept tell me you change ardy, nvr b ply boy ardy. tell me no use de, is c liyan believe anot, if you got heart den you should call her or find her out face to face tell her.

okeys, lazy type ardy, bak to study lo. +u +u, got time post again la:]

nEw LifE

Almost 1 month nvr post anythings ardy, sorry. What happen in tis 1 month?

-Ham-

You slowly get away from my mind ardy, mayb i can say tat, you stay 10% in my mind ardy, but i believe tat i will totally forgot you, n i will b myself 'playful' again. Think back...you changed me alot lot lot, n i couldn't count. For example: the way i talk, the way i walk, the way i'm happy, the way i'm angry, the way i study, the way i was playful, the way i was childish, the way i 7 xin..n more. You change me to bcum totally different like i bcum yr Barbie, when you want my love i giv you, when you wan me i giv you my time, when you wan me to bcum totally girl type i force myself to b. But when i needs you, you r always not there for me. Be in front of you i'm vry tired to change to another person, if you don like the way i usually do, den deep inside you heart. Whats makes you love me? don tell me coz you know i will b yr Barbie? =.='

>When i was sad, wanted you to support, you r not there for me.

>When i was happy, wanted to share to you, you r not there for me.

>When i was bored, wanted you to company, you r not there for me.

>When i was hurt, wanted you to care abt it, you r not there for me.

>When i was sick, wanted you to ngam or at least send 1 msg to tell me wat i should do, you r not there for me.

>When i was angry, wanted you to cool me down, you r not there for me.

>When i was lonely, wanted you to b wif me, you r not there for me.

>When i'm under pressure, wanted you to gives some entertainment, you r not there for me.

>When i miss you, wanted to see you, you r not there for me.

If you choose tis way to treat me as yr gf or the 1 you still love like tis, i need you to tell you 'i'm sorry, i stand it for 1 year ardy, i'm tired'

-Fei Zhu Zaii-

We meet the 1st time is on my bday[3rd Sept]. Tat time we don really know each other but we still can talk n chat. Jia wen love tis guy, n we can meet is bcoz of Jia wen, she wanted to see him closely n to know him more.

>1st time: Tis 'meet' was Jia wen's idea. We were still like normal frens, can talk can sot can laugh, n jia wen likes him even more from tis '1st meet'. ~at mcd~ *3rd sept

>2nd time: Tis time is [fei zhu zaii] asked me wanna go out to eat ice cream, den i ask Jia Wen do she wan? she quickly agree tat she is free whr actually she got class. Its prove tat, Jia Wen really likes him. ~at papa's rich~ *6th sept

>3rd time: Tis time was at nite, [fei zhu zaii] wanted to hav dinner den i called Jia Wen too. at 1st she can but bcoz her mum suddenly disagree go i juz go wif [fei zhu zaii] to hav dinner together. We were quite fun, but coz limited time so we juz chat a little bit abt our frens. ~at pizza hut~ *11th sept

>4th time: [fei zhu zaii] ask me out to hav lunch together n we eat n walk at 'our old place' xD we were quite fun,we were like soh lou n soh po xD but in tis outing i feel sum funny funny feeling. den i ask him 'you like me ar?' den he ans 'no ar' den i said 'mayb i feel wrong jor bah'. den i juz 4get abt it. but nite time sumthing happen...... ~at dpc~ *15th sept

>5th time: [fei zhu zaii] ask me out again to study(: he helps me on my hmwk n on my math, we were like normal studying. n he kept saying tat 'i hate you' den i write on his hand 'you hate me?'. the whole day he say kept saying 'i hate you', hahax! lol. tis outing i also hav limited time again only so we don really study or ply much. ~at mcd~ *17th sept

>6th time: Tis time we were in the morning, my mum ask me to go for jogging, to let the toxic out from my body, at the same time [fei zhu zaii] call me out to jog too, so i decide to go wif him. Early in the morning almost 8am we reached there [our old place] den we start to jog while plying n chatting. We were also quite fun, n there got leng lui leng zai tim. But b4 we when of he 'bei' me tat time all those ppl were looking at us n those leng zaii too. Therefore i nvr kap zai lo, n cannot kap zaii ardy xD *kap too much also no gud de* aft the jog we when for breakfast at aman puri, juz chatting. Aft tat he fetch me bak. B4 i cum down from he car, i told him sumthings, den we hav a great bigg hug(: ~at dpc n papa's rich~ *18th sept

I dono how to describe wat i feel, i only know tat, Jia wen likes him n he likes ... Jia wen is my fren, mayb is still not the rite time yet.

-My life-

my life now? Full of stress..but lucky still got sum 'fun' time xD Hope tat wat i study helps in my exam=3=

THE END!