a very painful day..

today i went to cut my hair..it was tomboy's style.. but at 1st i tot it suits me. but now nope. it was really short n it cuts until my curl came out. Now..i wan kinda regret of to be so playful. from i just same out from the saloon i don really dare to watch myself from the mirror. Last time i'm also like that b4, it was 4 years ago.... i don dare to really look myself from the mirror, bcoz i scare wat i c is not wat i think. and i tot i had overcome this problem..but...nope.it came to me again.. last time no matter how isit at least i still hav alittle bit more confident but now? totally gone.......i had lost my confident....is just like i had lost everything. but at least i still hav a fren, i name him dai lou..yea..in tuition i just act that i'm vry confident but he look through me n tell me i looks fine. looks ok wat, won be that bad la, slowly you will get use to it..dono y i really wanna tell him thank you :]

wow...just a hair cut or a hair style my life totally changed. i told him ardy. i tot he will giv me some confident coz now.....i really needs him. i don dare to tell him, bcoz now once i look at the mirror i felt that he won likes it, n something some starts to happen, n in my outlook now..it doesn't even match wif him...dono y..i will hav this thinking everytime when i look myself in front of the mirror.and he nvr just kept telling me not to cry n don think so much. yea..i had tried too..but the point is... i know that you also cares abt my outlook. last time my hair damages n ardy lost some confident of being in front of you. but now? worse..i know that i miss you alot n i needs you, but i don dare to let you look at me. my heart now really feel sour n pain..really really pain.. if i'm single in this outlook no body wants me nvm..but now...no...i don feel like losing another thing from my daily life. but i don wan him to felt pity abt me so outside say can accept but deep in the heart nope. if he just pity me only continue wif me then i rather not to continue. haiz..... YING QIU HAS LOST HER CONFIDENT ARDY. n she cant find it......she vry 'cha' lo, just know how to cry.. she knows that nobody will help her ardy but she just wanna act like a kid cry on the floor waiting for mummy to help..YING QIU vry 'cha' leh!!

i misss him now..i really wan him to appear in front of me..i really needs him now...but...bcoz of my confident..i don hav anything ardy.

'CONFIDENT' whr r you?

i get lost in myself ardy.

no1 will helps me,

n i'm so stupid,

crying over there..

now...

i really needs a ...

great warm hugg..

but..

i know i won get it.

no matter how isit,

i just know that..

I.L.H.

-Kiss the rain & River Flows in you-

*listening at it*