dono y feel like posting a bloggie.

now feel smiling outside pain inside. Zhu zaii n i starts to have some problem, n all those problem is bcoz of me. I admit tat all those problem is bcoz of me, i'm sorry. maybe i'm the 1 he likes la, but until now i dono wat he likes from me. everythings tat i hav done he also don really likes, so i still left which 1 tat he likes? sometimes really funny la, ok, i know tat sometimes i'm crazy, den he likes me when i'm crazy, but i'm not crazy all the time wo. so how? i feel tat sumtimes he likes all those girl vry shu nv type de, but i don really think tat he will likes it, coz bcoz tis kinda girl, he will feels tat i'm not zhu dong enough, or he will feels tat everything i think i don dare to say out, or he will feels tat wif me vry boring coz i'm too girl type ardy, or he will feels tat i don really likes him after all, i can be tat shu nv type, but will he likes it? who knows? maybe i will start to try being shu nv again, den c wats he said bah, i also dono wat he really likes from me. Sometimes i think vry negative something tat when he say out his problem abt me i will feel tat when we were just friends we will hav fun together, but when we couple problems start to come out, don hav tat FUN anymore, y not just be friends? juz tou tou an lian each other lo. But i'm too selfish ardy, coz i don wan to let others got chance n i wan him to be mine so i don wan him to leave me, n he leave me maybe i will suffer again? haiz, all tis also bcoz wat i wan, i don dare to ask him do he still wan to couple if is like tis, coz i really scare to hear tat he regret couple wif me, i don wan him to leave me, tis is my big big problem! DON DARE TO ACCEPT THE TRUTH! When everytimes he tells me tat he loves me, i really hope tat is really from his heart n not juz say for MUST, coz every single word of a guy tat i love saying 'I LOVE YOU' it really changes me or it really touch me. Tis is my big weakness nia @.@
But i really hope tat we won be like start being cold each other, coz i know end up is juz 1 ending call BREAK UP.

ok, after the refresh better ardy, stop crying ardy :]
you know when do zhu zaii n i pak toh ma? 9th nov 10:02pm at genting leh, 9 is my lucky number, n our time is like 9,10,11 - 9 for 9th, 10 for 10pm n 11 for Nov. Very...funny ho? kekex, maybe is god set up jor bah. xD
being juz a normal girl is also hard sumtimes, so i wan to be diffren than the others, especially in his heart. sumtimes i know tat my emotion really too over jor, but i dare to show out infront of a guy tat i love really daring jor, coz i know myself, i don dare to show my bad mood or unhappy mood to sum1 i love, but not for zhu zaii leh, i dare to show infront of him n i let him tam me when i'm not happy leh, tis 1 really let me know tat showing a expression to a guy i love is just tat easy n i no ned to hide anymore, coz last time i sad i always gao tim myself de, don wan my bf to tam me until i happy de, but too sad is, my emotion makes zhu zaii feel sad wo, so should i use back my way leh? hahax! my big big problem AGAIN.. xD
ok la, maybe tell him bah, but don show infront of him lo,kekex, like tat he won be sad lo :]
But nowadays i don get his heart n he don get my heart ardy, dono y leh xD
*i also dono wat my heart really wan also*
juz now i said tat 'refresh' means tat i go eat sumthings xD n 1st time when i think of zhu zaii i feel pain n sour in my heart same as i felt for ham, i don wan tat to happen again leh, i juz wan tat when i think of him, i feel like laughing or i giv myself a smile. Maybe i tat time still vry NEGATIVE bah xD
No matter wat happen to us, i still also love zhu zaii the only 1, kekex ^^